What We Think of 3: Slytherins
by Un Petit Diable
Summary: [Complete]The Marauders put on an interesting show about their favourite Slytherins. Unless you have a flexible sense of humour, SlytherinLovers you have been warned. [Warning: complete randomness may ensue]
1. Lucius Malfoy aka Lucy Wucy

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's creations.**

_A Marauders' Presentation _

_**What We Think of...3: Slytherins**_

_Starring:_

_James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin_

_Gryffindor Common Room  
Full House  
1977-Spring Break_

_Featuring: _

_Lily Evans, Gideon Prewett, Frank Longbottom, Fabian Prewett_

The Gryffindor Common Room is transfigured to look like an auditorium, and pretty much held all the members of the house. The lights are off and the spotlights are on Fabian Prewett.

"ALL YOU GRYFFINDORS OUT THERE," Fabian announces. "ARE YOU READY FOR THE ONE THE ONLY MARAUDERS!"

The audience cheers.

He continues, "Then introducing…!"

A boy with messy, black hair, and bespectacled hazel eyes wearing Quidditch robes enters.

"The Quidditch Captain… JAMES POTTER!"

The cheers from the audience increases.

James waves and shows-off to the crowd as his friend, a boy with longish, dark hair, gray eyes, and a charming smile, enters.

"Next," Fabian introduces, "one of our favourite duelists… SIRIUS BLACK!"

The audience goes wild and a few girls swoon.

"WHAT'S UP FELLOW GRYFFINDORS!" Sirius yells out, takes a bow, and then stands beside James.

Next comes in a calm, tired looking male with sandy-brown hair, and amber-brown eyes.

"Now, our Prefect who couldn't care less… REMUS LUPIN!" Fabian introduces.

The crowd roars and cheers enough to make anyone deaf.

Remus offers a smile and a wave, and then stands beside Sirius and James.

"And unfortunately, Peter Pettigrew couldn't be here today!" Fabian ends. The audience's cheers and whistle grows surprisingly loud at that announcement.

"Now, I'm going to let James take over, and join you people in the crowd," with that Fabian hops of the stage and finds a seat in the audience.

James, Sirius, and Remus enchant their voices to sound loud.

"As you guys know," James starts, "for a while now, we've been writing joke notes to each other.

"Sending out compliments," Remus continues, "or, hm… simply diss each other."

Sirius picks it up from there. "So we decided, why not have a little of fun with the Slytherins?"

James speaks again, "but nothing this entertaining should be kept amongst ourselves, so..."

"We decided to put on a little show and that's why you are here today." Remus finishes his sentence.

Sirius starts go explain how things are going to work. "We'll start things off with calling up one of our housemates we wrote to in the beginning of the year.

Remus continues for him. "She'll be picking a name from this goblet," a magical glass goblet, shuffling names on paper, appears floating in the middle of the stage, 'choosing the first Slytherin to fall to our mercy.

The audience "oohs" and "aahs."

James begins to introduce their first guest in lovesick voice, "now introducing... the beautiful, clever, sweet, elegant, fair, gorgeous, marvelous-

Sirius shoves over James and finishes, "LILY EVANS!"

The crowd cheers as pretty redhead walks up to the stage from the audience.

"Hello, beautiful," James flirts. "How are you this fine day?"

"Fine, now move, Potter!" Lily shoves him over irritated and picks out a name from the goblet. "Our first unlucky Slytherin has graduated couple of years ago. Let's get the scoop on LUCIUS MALFOY!"

The audience was buzzing with excitement. Cheers, laughter, and "boos" could be heard.

A big picture of Malfoy dressed like a girl and doing different poses in front of a mirror appears in the background.

Lily quickly returns to the audience.

"Lucy Wucy, is now 23 and works for the Ministry. Who the hell knows what he's doing," Remus describes. "All I have to say is, he's running around licking the ground the Dark Lord walks on."

James now gives his opinions. "This Death-Eater, I'm sure, was once known as the Slytherin Prince. The almighty Pureblood with slick, white-blond hair and grey eyes.

"A-hem!" Sirius crosses his arms.

"Sorry, mate," James sweat-drops, "nothing against your eyes. But honestly, for that dumb-ass of a Slytherin, can you say too much gel?"

"Not to mention he's a great ugly old brute," Remus adds. "Did I mention he's hideous?"

"And for someone who says he's all that," Sirius rolls his eyes, "he runs CRYING to daddy every time he doesn't get what he wants. Talk about spoilt. I'm sure his offspring will end up the same..."

"For someone who was sooooo popular, does the man have any friends?" Remus asks the audience. "I mean Crabbe and Goyle? They're two bloody bonkers with the same stupid mind. Nothing but henchmen to Lucy-poo, he's always insulting them."

"We ain't like that, are we mate?" James turns to his friends. "We always stick by each other, always wishing the best, and never insulting."

Sirius growls, "Peter called me a jerk."

Some girls in the audience "aws."

"Ha!" Remus laughs in triumph. "You're still on about that. I told you are too sensitive!"

"I AM NOT TOO SENSITIVE!" yells Sirius.

"Are too!" Remus sticks his tongue out him.

"SHUT UP!" James shouts at both of them.

The audience bursts out laughing.

"O-kay, now back to the target," James starts once Sirius and Remus calmed down. "That pathetic piece of moron is the laziest arse in the world. He can't pick up his butt and get to work."

"Prongs, mate, he's so lazy –and stupid, evil, bloody moron, jerk, a piece of shit-"

"Padfoot, we get the picture." Remus interrupts. "There are younger students in here."

The audience laughs.

"Oh sorry," he apologises. "He's so lazy that he can't pick out his own clothes! What the heck, he probably can't even dress himself! And to say he's married to my cousin… GROSS!" Sirius pretends to gag.

"We know, buddy," James says solemnly, "but Narcissa has always been the strange one, snotty, but not E-VIL; more like… very obedient."

"She and Lucius had a very interesting relationship in their final year –our first," Remus recalls, "On-and-off one. It wasn't until we caught them once having …" he trails of blushing.

The audience whistles and laughs.

"Merlin, Moony!" Sirius groans shielding his eyes. "BAD mental image! I've had enough of Mal-moron!"

"Yeah, Sirius is right…" James agrees.

"We will be back after a short break." Remus says to the crowd.

The audience applause as the curtains go down.


	2. Crabbe&Goyle aka Flobberworm&Peabrain

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's creations.**

_A Marauders' Presentation _

**_What We Think of...3: Slytherins_**

_Starring:_

_James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin_

_Gryffindor Common Room  
Full House  
1977-Spring Break_

_Featuring: _

_Lily Evans, Gideon Prewett, Frank Longbottom, Fabian Prewett_

The Gryffindor Common Room is all quiet and full as the crowd eagerly awaits the second part of the Marauders' Presentation. The spotlight is now on Frank Longbottom.

"All right guys, WE'RE BACK!" he announces. "Now to start things off again, let's reintroduce you to ... REMUS LUPIN!"

The audience cheers as the curtain goes up to reveal Remus standing in front of the other Marauders with the glass goblet.

Frank returns to his seat in the audience.

Remus speaks, "I'm now going to choose the second victim "randomly," and the winner –or loser- is… CRABBE & GOYLE!"

The cheers increase.

"Ok… who put those dunderheads name in?" Sirius questions.

"This may sound strange, but we take the time to know the names of everyone in the school, including the Slytherins –first and last- except those two's," James tells the audience. "To tell you the truth, I can't even tell them apart."

BAM!

Suddenly the glass goblet bursts into flames.

"Whoo hoo hoo! Looks like the Goblet is "Mal-functioning"," Sirius jokes. "Get it? Come on…"

"Sorry Sirius, did we miss something?" Remus appears to be confused.

"Yeah, what did we miss?" James asks.

"Oh come on! Mal-functioning? Malfoy? GET IT?" Sirius explains desperately.

The audience gives a scatter realizing laughter and 'Ohs.'

"Actually," Remus scratches his head, "I don't."

"Neither do I," James shrugs. "Let's move on."

"How can you NOT get it!" Sirius growls, upset. "You idiotic morons call yourselves my fri-" Remus knocks him unconscious.

'Aws' are heard from the audience along with the sound of laughter.

"OK!" Remus grins. "Now back to the main point!"

A large photo appears of Crabbe and Goyle holding (hugging) tightly on to each other and crying because all the desserts are finished.

"Crabbe and Goyle are just plain stupid!" James says. "If you were a mind reader and read their mind, you'd hear the same thing. Probably something stupid like Mary had a Little Lamb. Actually they probably don't know that..." he trails off.

"And if you were paying attention to our last presentation, you'd realize they don't even have a brain," continues Remus. "They're just two brainless monkeys-"

"Hey! I like monkeys!" shouts Fabian from the audience.

"Sorry Fab," Remus sheepishly grins. "They're two brainless donkeys-"

"-Ass," James cuts in.

"-That does whatever Lucy-Wucy tells them too," Remus glares at James. "What was the last time we actually saw them achieve something?"

"Oh, oh! I know!" James snaps his fingers. "The day they were able to tell the difference between water and chicken."

"Does anybody remember in the first day of school some first year Hufflepuff "Muggle-born" beat him in a "duel?" Remus asks the audience and burst out in laughter.

(Audience burst out laughing)

"And they were SIXTH years!" he exclaims then turns to James. "Eh… I'm running out of things to say!"

"So am I," he agrees. "Should we wake up Sirius?"

"Yeah sure," Remus shrugs taking out his wand. "_Enervate."_

Sirius gains conscious and rubs his aching head.

"Wh-what h-happened?" he looks around confused. "I-I REMEMBER! I was telling a joke and you two knocked me out! I should send Crabbe and Goyle lose on you." he growls jumping to his feet. "Those humongous, fat, stupid, idiotic, bloody ugly- and they are ugly, they make Rabastan Lestrange almost look good- morons will beat you to shrimps!"

"He has a way of making things interesting, doesn't he?" James smirks.

"He sure does, and this show is much shorter than the last," Remus says, ignoring Sirius's ranting in the background.

"Well C 'n' G are quite stupider than the last, which is saying something…" James shrugs it off.

"And this is the last straw!" exclaims Sirius. "You guys show no appreciations for my work!"

"Should we end this?" Remus asks James, shaking his head at Sirius.

"Yes, we should." They both grab Sirius by an arm and drags him backstage.

The audience cheers and applause.

"This is not over I tell you!" Sirius yells out. "This is not OVER!"

"I TOLD YOU, YOU ARE TOO SENSITIVE!" Remus growls at him.

"I AM NOT!"

Frank Longbottom returns to stage, "And we'll be back in a little while with our next guest."


	3. Regulus Black aka The Serpent's Child

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's creations.**

_A Marauders' Presentation_

**What We Think of...3: Slytherins**

_Starring:_

_James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin_

_Gryffindor Common Room  
__Full House  
__1977-Spring Break_

_Featuring: _

_Lily Evans, Gideon Prewett, Frank Longbottom, Fabian Prewett_

Sirius and Remus are having a quiet conversation in backstage. Apparently, there are some things Sirius just can't let go off.

"For the last time Sirius, I mean it!" Remus hisses. "You make a mountain out of a molehill–you act to sensitive! Why can't you just let it go?"

"And I'm telling you that I am not," he defends. "I'm a very self-sophisticated guy, I don't whine about things and I am not to sensitive when people joke about me."

"OK… I don't even know if that made sense, but… remember back in out third year when James put around pamphlets of you with the heading: _Sirius Black: Biggest Moron_?" the brunet asks. "It had a picture of you sleeping curled up with a teddy bear and sucking your thumb."

His dark-haired friend blushes, "You guys set me up for that pic!"

The curtain goes up and the two starts to speak in normal tone without realizing it.

"I'm not so sure we did…" Remus told him. 

"Grr… you so did!" he growls.

"Whatever, the point is you didn't speak to James for one week!" Remus says. "That's a lifetime for you two. What about all the time you pranked him? He didn't stop speaking to you," he finishes with a roll of his eyes.

"Yeah," Sirius chuckles dreamily, "like the time I covered all his clothes in syrup and made it so he couldn't clean it. The clothes were stuck on him and covered with ants. Remember in charms it got so sticky and stuck to the chair that eventually his clothe ripped to get him off."

The audience laughs.

"A-hem!" James clears his throat to get his friends attentions with an angry expression on his face.

The two turn to see the not-so-amused James.

"Oh, we're back!" Sirius realizes. "Whaddup peeps?"

Remus sweat-drops at his ecstatic friend, "And let's meet our next guest to pick our third victim."

"Yeah," James says bitterly, "here's Gideon Prewett."

The audience goes wild as he walks up on stage.

"Lily's mine!" James mouths to him.

"I dated her years ago, stupid!" he mouths back.

He picks out a name from the glass goblet. "Our next Slytherin is …" looks at the piece of paper, "well, like all of them, I would say some things about this person, but at this point I don't want to get killed... so the person is … REGULUS BLACK!"

Gideon runs off stage with Sirius threatening him with an axe.

"Out of all the stupid morons, you had to go and pick my freaky, little brother!" he yells.

"Padfoot," James taps his friends shoulder, "you were the one who put him in the Goblet in the first place." He ends rolling his eyes.

"So?"

Remus just sighs and pulls out the picture of Regulus.

It contained of Regulus running away screaming from a killer teddy bear.

"Regulus is probably known best as the Serpent's child…" James starts. "Don't ask why, I'm not a Slytherin."

Scatter of laughter is heard from the audience.

"Oh, give me a break, Prongs!" Remus steps forward. "We all know he's called that because he's the only one of the two brothers that decided to follow in the " Black Linage"."

"Oi, Siri, do you have anything to add to this?" James calls.

Sirius crosses his arms and turns away from the audience, "Hmph!"

"Oh…k…."

"Now I know the descriptions I'm looking for," Remus snaps his fingers, "stubborn -stubbornly sensitive."

"Grr…" 

"Moony?" James turns to him. "Have you noticed that despite the fact that the two brothers hate each other… they're a lot alike..."

"You are quite right, Prongs, they're both stubborn mules that have to have EVERYTHING their way," Remus agrees.

"And if they don't, they start crying, whining, moping, and babbling like idiots," James adds.

"Sirius maybe popular in Gryffindor and all that," Remus continues, "but Regulus has pretty much the same title for Slytherin AND he's a year younger."

"I agree Remus," James grins, "title for the most PATHETIC housemate and a big wannabe superstar."

"THAT'S IT!" Sirius stalks over to them. "The day I'm ANYTHING like my brother is the day I'll snog Snivelly –which is a scary thought itself."

"Ooh, the sarcastic Sirius is back!" Remus pauses. "Why are all the words that describe him start with an 'S'?"

"Because he's 'Sirius' though he's anything but 'serious'." James laughs at his corny joke.

"Just listen and listen good. Regulus is a pathetic, moping mama's boy who only cares for himself," Sirius tells them with narrowed eyes. "He has no freaking confidence and is full of self-pity. Don't you dare compare me to him! I'm not about to sell myself to a bunch of Death-Eaters!"

Then he starts laughing, "Sell myself… ha ha… that's funny! You can't put a price on Sirius Black! I'm priceless. MWHAHAHAHAHA!"

"More like worthless," Remus mutters.

"I love you, too, Moony," Sirius says sarcastically.

"Merlin! Shut up for once, Sirius! You're driving me cuckoo!" Remus's eyes flashes amber and Sirius gulps.

He runs backstage and the curtain falls after him. Remus goes after him.

"How the hell did I ever become friends with those? James mutters shaking his head and rolling his eyes. He then follows them to backstage.

Sirius peeks from behind the curtain, "One more thing! Regulus is still my Lil' brother, no one can tease him other than me… with the exception of Fabian: those two are rivals!"

Gideon steps back on stage, "And they'll be back soon."


	4. Cursed Flower and the Amazon Star of EVI...

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's creations.**

_A Marauders' Presentation _

_**What We Think of...3: Slytherins**_

_Starring:_

_James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin_

_Gryffindor Common Room  
Full House  
1977-Spring Break_

_Featuring: _

_Lily Evans, Gideon Prewett, Frank Longbottom, Fabian Prewett_

"And… they're back!" announces a voice. "I'm Frank Longbottom and I'll be introducing our next target."

"Frankie, Head Boy person…we know whom you are," Sirius calls out. "Why introduce yourself?" 

"You're trying to have a live show here!" he sighs exasperated. "You have to make it "realistic"!"

"I don't get it … but okay!" Sirius shrugs. "Re-MUS, bring in the GOOOBLEET!" 

"We can hear you just fine, Padfoot," he mutters through gritted teeth.

Frank picks out the next target for the show from the Goblet Remus is holding. "Our next victims are actually sisters. They are both graduated and married, I believe. Let's boo it for … Bellatrix & Narcissa Black!"

As usual, a picture of the sisters appear and the audience howl with laughter. Narcissa's hair was like Medusa's (serpents and all) and Bellatrix's dark hair was past her ankle and so greasy and oily that it makes Snape's hair look clean. Both sisters had weird little flowers growing out of their faces.

"Is it just me," James snorts with amusement, "or are half the people in there are Sirius's relatives!"

Sirius laughs dryly, rolling his eyes, "Ha, ha, very funny, Prongs, I ain't laughing."

"Ok, ok! Narcissa was known for her interesting… how should we say it... sexual life. Yes, once in our second we caught a not so pleasant sight in a broom closet." James says.

"OUR POOR INNOCENT EYES! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sirius runs away screaming only to come back a few seconds later as if nothing happened.

"I doubt YOU were ever that innocent," Remus rolls his eyes.

"Heck," Sirius shrugs. "I've seen worse!"

"Like you?" Remus suggests with a grin. 

"Yeah- HEY!"

The audience laughs.

"You have to admit, Paddy, you've been in some situation most of us can't even imagine," James tells him. "Except you don't accuse a person of raping or seducing you and then make out with that person." He refers to Narcissa.

"It's times like these, I'm glad I don't date," Remus whispers to the crowd quietly.

The audience snickers.

"Hmph! I thought we were talking about them, not me!" Sirius crosses his arms. "After all, Prongsie, your social life ain't that good either." He pretends to recite a sonnet. "When will thou fair maiden look upon thee?"

"Did you even say that right?" Remus cocks an eyebrow.

"I don't know," Sirius shrugs, "never paid attention to those 'Pureblood' lessons."

"What else do we know about them or at least her?" James asks.

"Other then that she's a sissy Pureblood aristocrat that always has the expression of a sour lemon under her nose?" Sirius asks. "Nothing much."

"And… Bellatrix?" James brings up.

"Why are you asking me?" Sirius throws his arms in the air. "I ain't doing this alone!"

"They're your cousins!" James rolls his eyes. "Duh!"

Sirius pouts. "Heh! Her social life is as sluttish as her sister! The way she's always all over that… what's his name… oh yeah, Rodolphus Lestrange! You'd think she was trying to rip his tongue out!"

The audience howls with laughter.

"Rodolphus," Sirius snickers. "That always makes me laugh!" 

"Isn't their anything other than their sexual lives?" Remus sighs.

Sirius thinks for a moment. "Well… no, not really. I suppose there's her big "I'm the queen of the world" attitude and her smuttiness. Anything else will be… well, the fact that she was born... and that goes for Narcissa as well.

"Great job, Padfoot!" James pats him on the back. "I think we're done."

"See, we told you could do it yourself," Remus laughs.

Sirius pouts, arms crossed, and goes backstage.

The Sirius fans "aws."

"We were going to do more, but from sources we find out that McGonagall is coming," Remus tells the crowd.

"Come back tomorrow night for one last performance. Let's just say we saved the best for last," James waves as the curtains go down and the audience cheers.


	5. Severus Snape aka Snivellus

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's creations.**

_A Marauders' Presentation_

**_What We Think of...3: Slytherins_**

_Starring:_

_James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin_

_Gryffindor Common Room  
__Full House  
__1977-Spring Break_

_Featuring: _

_Lily Evans, Gideon Prewett, Frank Longbottom, Fabian Prewett_

"Our last Slytherin is someone known quite well among the Gryffindors," Gideon starts.

"He is probably the most 'famous' Slytherin and no, it's not 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named'," Frank continues.

Fabian continues, "James Potter is most hated by him before any other-"

"Who doesn't hate James?" Lily rolls her eyes. "Don't answer that. Let's get this started."

Gideon, Frank, Fabian, and Lily get off the stage as the curtains go up.

James and Remus are walking around and talking on the stage when Sirius comes in wearing a really ugly mask. It has a big warty nose, small black eyes, white skin, and really long, greasy, black hair, and he was dressed in all black and was carrying a fake book on the Dark Arts.

"Potter! Lupin!" Sirius speaks in an oily voice.

"Snivellus!" James claps his hands. "What a pleasant surprise…"

"Not," Remus adds.

Sirius raises his wand, "Honestly, Pothead… don't you get tired of hauling that big head everywhere? And Lupin, what have you been up to…?"

"Honestly, Snivellus, same old insults… don't YOU get tired of getting your arse kicked? James blinks innocently.

"And curiosity killed the cat… in this case, the greasy-haired git…so you can't come back alive," Remus smirks.

James and Remus take out their wand starts a fake duel with 'Snape' as the curtains go down.

The audience cheers.

The curtains go up again a minute later and this time a giant picture is at present like the previous presentations. It was the classic scene of Snape's underwear incident of the previous year, right after the OWLs.

The crowd laughs at the memory.

James, Remus, and Sirius –back to his own self- returns to stage.

"Those of you who are too stupid and still haven't figured it out… the last presentation is of our 'dear, old Severus Snape'," Sirius says.

"Gee, Padfoot, you do realize the only person in this room the "too stupid" comment suit, is you?" Remus tells him.

"What is this?" he growls, "a pick on Sirius presentation?"

The girls "aws."

"No, Sirius, you know as well as we all do, this is just for our 'favourite' Slytherins," James explains solemnly, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You're just the bonus," his face cracks into a grin.

"I'm leaving!" Sirius points his fingers at his two friends. "But I swear I'll be back… for REVENGE! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

He starts to laugh like a maniac and gets bonked on the head by Remus.

"HEY!" Sirius rubs his head. T"hat was completely uncalled for, Moony!" He heads towards backstage.

"Too sensitive," Remus says in a singsong voice.

"I AM NOT!" he dashes back to his place between James and Remus.

"Are you done?" James growls. "I'd like to get back to trashing Snivellus!" He gets an evil look and rubs his hands like those evil dudes in the movie. The lighting darkens and thunder booms, and ... "MWAHHAHAHAHA!"

Remus taps him on the shoulder and coughs to get his attention.

"Wah?"

"I think you need to calm down a bit," he tells James.

"You think?" Sirius crosses his arms and glares at James, rolling his eyes.

The audience laughs.

"Anyway, let's get back to the topic?" James fixes his composure. "I'm sure you're all wondering: How in the freaking world did he wound up with the nickname Snivellus?"

"I believe, Prongs, to answer that we have to go back to our very first day of Hogwarts." Remus turns to Sirius. "Padfoot, would you like to do the honour as the creator?"

"Thank you, Moony. Finally some respect," Sirius grins and turns talk to the audience. "Anyhow… the name takes us back right before the sorting… you see it's quite simple, yet hilarious.

"Peter tripped over a stair and caused some accidental magic, which hit Snivelly and he started crying his head off. Unfortunately, this happened when all of you, but us three were already within the Great Hall, so you missed the show.

"To conclude, Peter became our friend, we got revenge on Snape for tormenting Remus on the train –without even doing anything- and I gave him the nickname Snivellus."

The crowd laughs.

"Thank you Padfoot, but honestly, what's up with that idiot?" James wonders out loud. "I mean hasn't he ever heard of shampoo?"

"From what I can tell, Prongs, he's hair has more grease than all the Muggle fryers in a Muggle fast food restaurant," Remus calculates.

"Can he make it anymore obvious that he's going to work for the Dark Lord?" James rolls his eyes. "The moron is always carrying a Dark Arts book with him!"

"And he manipulated my Lil' bro's mind!" Sirius adds.

"Regulus is more sane than you are…" Remus tells him and Sirius retaliates by sticking his tongue out. "And come on, ladies, wouldn't you say there's a difference between mysterious and just plain creepy?"

The females in the audience nod.

"He thought he could actually out-prank the Marauders!" Sirius exclaims, "The greatest Pranksters ever!"

What's worse is his lack of gratitude," James says angrily. "Countless of time has Lily defended his miserable behind and he thanks her with, 'I don't need your help, you filthy little Mudblood'."

The audience gasp in shock and anger.

"Has anyone but me seen how much he tries to please the Malfoys?" Remus brings up.

"Duh!" Sirius says. "Lucius was probably his role-model, and one can't get far with him as their idol."

James speaks again, "Do you think-?"

"Guys!" a voice interrupts them.

"Wormtail?" Remus is surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I got back early," he explains, "but that's not important, McGonagall is coming!"

"And that's it for our show!" Sirius says hurriedly.

"Thank you for coming," James says, scattering around to get everything cleaned up, "hope you enjoyed it!"

The audience cheers.

All four Marauders and their four helpers rush around getting everything back in order. All Gryffindors return to their dormitory, but some stay to read, do homework, or talk. They have to make it seem like just another ordinary day.

**The End**

**A/N: Finally the "What We Think of… Series" come to an end. Slytherin-lovers don't hate me, it's actually my favourite house, but it's obvious that the Marauders didn't like that House. I'm actually a Slytherin myself according to all the Sorting Quizzes, but I'm someone who can pretty much insult anyone when bored.**


End file.
